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Comments
Couple little things? Some British-isms were in the first few pages. Sneakers, not runners.
And on pg 4, Advil should be capitalized, or called ibuprophen.
I'm nit-picking a brilliant author, but these things pull me out of the story briefly.
Trying to trim this to 750 words, you lost the story. 2 stars
OK, big problem: Never, ever, ever take Advil and Tylenol together! Ever! Tylenol is Acetaminophen, it's a blood thinner. Advil is Ibuprofen, it's an anti-inflammatory that will also irritate your stomach lining. So between the two, you'll end up with a bleeding ulcer. I think the standard recommendation is to separate them by at least twelve hours, though I just stick to one. So unless you're TRYING to mess Hayley up even worse than she already is (bruised, battered, hung over), PLEASE stick to one or the other.
PS: Yes, this is a pet peeve. Yes, I've personally had a problem with both drugs. Google it if you don't believe me.
Fracture = broken. We have lots of terms to describe the fracture, but a fracture is a break.
People can walk on a broken ankle if they are tough enough to take the pain and the tibia is not where the fracture is.
She would have had an x-ray about a week after the surgery to confirm it was well healing.
Plaster? We more often use water activated fiberglass these days. Less heat as it cures, sets quicker.
Very likely she would have been put in a walking boot.
Advil = Motrin = ibuprofen. Each pill is 200mg, so three were a good choice, four a bit better. Redose after six hours if the pain has returned.
When I read this paratrooper will kill you, I don't think being serious was ever the intent. What's next, are you going to put on your robe and wizard hat?
But the ending and the use of a human choice and not a damn plot device to get to it was good. The length of conflict wasn't unnecessarily long. So, the best way to reconcile this with reality is that this is a joke.